Showing posts with label New York. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New York. Show all posts

August 07, 2020

Tommy

Tommy, age 9

Bloomfield, New York (1989)


In my photo, I'd just won 2nd place in the Hula Hoop contest at my Catholic church's spring picnic. I was quite proud of my ribbon hanging from my ear.

My mom always said I "walked like John Wayne" but after watching home videos of me as a little kid, it was abundantly clear I did NOT walk like John Wayne. Not with that swish in my little hips! I was effeminate, plain and simple.

I loved playing with 
Tonka Trucks and Hot Wheels, and I also loved to sing and dance, but only when no one was looking or listening. Not because of the impression it gave, but because I didn't think I was very good at it.

Around the same time, my babysitter was letting me wear her daughter's dresses and bought me girls' panties to wear. She understood me better than my family would probably ever admit. Love you, Mrs. K!

I soon started watching "Who's The Boss" every chance I had so I could see Jonathan Pintauro as "Danny." By 12 I knew
exactly why I liked him so much!

I had a crush on a boy in middle and high school, and this caused me to "fear" I was gay, which was very difficult to admit to myself. Of course, I never asked him out. I dreamed of fooling around with him, but in real life I would have been thrilled if he had just held my hand.

At age 19 I was in the military and living in California. I met a man 3 times my age and got into my first gay relationship. It didn't last long, as I had no idea who or what he was talking about most of the time. And I was probably a bit of a brat. Anyway, it proves that when it comes to relationships, sex isn't everything.

I came out to my family only a few years ago, and I surprised no one.
And 
I have the wonderful blessing of family and friends who support me.

Today, I enjoy my career as a machinist, living my life as true as I can each day.
Although I have no boyfriend or husband now, I have no doubt that someone special is out there waiting for me. :)

For those of you who are "different" - in any way - go ahead and OWN IT!
You are who you are, and love yourself first!

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

December 03, 2015

Fernando

Fernando, age 3
Havana, Cuba (1967)

Growing up in in the 1970's in Cuba, I had never heard any official talk about gay people. But, the only time I did hear references to gay people, it was always derogatory. I do remember that I was never allowed to speak ill of people that were perceived as gay. I had a gay cousin and people always made fun of him.
If I had ever joined in to insult him, my mom would’ve smacked me!


My first memory of realizing I was different was when at around age 6 or 7 when I found a packet of pornographic photos. The sex described and shown was totally heterosexual, but my eyes were glued to the males in those photos. 

As I didn't know about gayness or sex, it wasn't about that. It was just something within me feeling - different. I always had crushes on the cutest boys in my school, but I never thought about sex until age 15.

I'd met this kid from the neighborhood that was very cute and who wore the sexiest red Speedos. But I never acted on the fantasies I had about him, though. I dated girls and even had sex with them. It was not entirely unpleasant, so I never felt the awkwardness that some kids growing up gay feel.

I moved to New York City in the late 80's. I was walking around 42nd Street one day, and I walked into a sex shop, and right up front they had a display of gay porn. I opened a magazine and it was as if a lightbulb above my head went on!

I thought 'WOW! This is what it's all about!' Soon after that, I started my quest to find a mate, and in 1992 I met my now-husband. 

One night he left me a phone message and told me that he loved me in French. My mom heard it and asked me why he had said he loved me. I simply said, 
'He is my boyfriend.' And she simply said, "Oh, OK. As long as you don’t become effeminate, it's OK with me!" And that was how I came out.

So I guess you could say I had it a little easy.

I did not feel the depression or heartaches that most of us go through. One of my girlfriends had a bit of a problem when I told her, but it quickly vanished and we remained friends until the day she died. 

Today, I am openly gay at work and in my private life. We never officially told my grandma or my husband's parents, but they figured it out for themselves and it was never a problem for them, either.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

January 21, 2015

Bill

Bill, age 3
Brooklyn, New York (1963)

This picture should have given my family some clue! This Norwegian boy on the left was a childhood friend, and I have a look on my face like, “Look! I got one!”

As a kid, I loved TV shows that featured boys around my age, like Eddie Munster and Will Robinson on "Lost In Space."

I also remember watching the original "Mickey Mouse Club" on TV. While most other boys were crushing on Annette Funicello, I was crushing on Cubby!

If anyone had asked me as early as age four who I wanted to marry when I grew up, I would have said that I wanted to marry a man. It just seemed natural.

But elementary school was a very difficult time for me.

I got bullied and beat up a lot, but I didn’t really know why;
I just thought that’s how school was.

By junior high, kids had apparently picked up on me being gay, because the bullying definitely took on a homophobic aspect. Of course, self-preservation caused me to deny it, and I had girlfriends all through high school. Probably because I was easy to talk to?!

After high school, I went through a very difficult time in a very homophobic church. After what could only be described as spiritual and emotional torture,
I left. Within a year in 1980, I was instrumental in founding the world’s first LGBT-affirming Apostolic Pentecostal church.

Most of my family took my coming out very well.

To celebrate, my aunt Lois called a friend of hers, and together they “raided” a gay bar in Asbury Park, New Jersey, where Lois played matchmaker for the guys inside, deciding who looked good with whom!

Presently, there are many positive LGBT role models, and I hope LGBT kids will look to them for encouragement and affirmation.

Today, I'm a 55 year old man, happily partnered with another 55 year old man. As I look back at my childhood - and especially this picture - it makes me smile.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


June 24, 2013

Karina

Karina, age 8
New York, New York (1997)

Growing up in an immigrant family from Russia, I was everything that nice immigrant children weren't supposed to be: outgoing, chatty and not interested in becoming a doctor. I can't recall sensing I might be gay, but I definitely recall having crushes or "falling in love" with different women in my life: the third grade teacher  whose class I wanted to be in, the friend I always wanted to stand next to in ballet class, and the blonde camp counselor who always left me speechless.

And also the girl on my school bus in 8th grade. I would instigate silly drama with her just to get her attention.

I even told her that a guy friend liked her, just so she would call me to talk about it.

As I got older, I definitely knew that girls interested me in a way that guys never did.

Despite the feelings that I developed for girls, I never truly thought I was gay.

Because that just didn't happen in Russian families, and I knew there was no way that could happen in my family, or in my culture.

When I finally entered my first relationship with a girl at age 20, I couldn't even acknowledge that same-sex attractions were normal for me. But I soon had an epiphany and I just knew. And it felt so wonderful to understand myself in a way that I never had before: I am gay.

And I felt so light, as if I could fly. My life made sense for the first time. I told my closest friends and we just laughed about it. My friends treated me the way my parents should have.

My parents will never be happy that their daughter is gay, but they have come a long way in a few years. I know they love me, and our relationship has grown significantly since I first told them. I'm learning to forgive them for their initial reactions, which were less than kind.

I recently came out to my two male cousins and my grandmother, who is my biggest ally. They were both super supportive. One cousin, a health freak, said,
"As long as you don't eat dairy or gluten, I don't care."

I've always known that I was extremely lucky to have been brought to America at a young age, but that feeling has never been stronger than it is now. I'm thankful that I am thousands of miles away from Russia's virulent, violent homophobia.

And my heart breaks for the Russian LGBT community today that suffers at the hands of its government and their intolerant citizens every day.
____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


March 18, 2013

Tami

Tami, age 9
Staten Island, New York (1995)

I remember the day this photo was taken. It was a rainy weekend and my little brother and I were having fun trying on my uncle's old work clothes. I know I was both embarrassed and proud when my mother pulled out the camera.
And the two emotions read simultaneously on my face.

It was right around this age when I was first called out as gay. I was in the 5th grade and a female friend and I were playing during a break between classes.

I turned around to find a pack of four boys behind me, with one of the more popular kids in the front. "You're a lesbian!" he said, as the other boys snickered.

I had no idea what he was talking about. Was that an insult?
Had I done something wrong?

I never looked quite like the other girls: I was heavy then and wore thick glasses, baggy t-shirts, and high-top sneakers to school.

Maybe that's what a lesbian was?

Trying not to look foolish, I shot back, 'Well... so are you!' The boys laughed and I realized that, once again, I had missed something in the social code.

I asked my mother what they had meant when I got home.
But I didn't get much help there either.
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


January 16, 2013

Ashton

Ashton, age 5
Athens, Georgia (1989)

It was all The Nutcracker's fault. Well, that and my sister's tap shoes. Every Christmas since the age of 1, my family would drive to Atlanta, stay one night in the grandest hotel, and see The Nutcracker at "The Fabulous Fox Theatre"

It was the grandest of occasions, and the best part was dressing up. I'd wear white buck shoes, seersucker pants, suspenders - and therefore felt invincible.

It was my gay childhood version of the Superhero Costume.

In those rags, no one could stop the Sugar Plum Fairy from leaping out of me - and down the stairs, across the front lawn and all the way through the lobby of the glitzy Ritz Carlton.

I was spoiled rotten with love and support. Today, I'm a set designer living in New York City.


And I have this life because my parents knew exactly how to channel my desires into a constructive path for myself. So, thanks to my Mom & Dad - who are celebrating their 39th wedding anniversary this year!
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Click - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


August 15, 2012

Dan

Dan, age 1
Islip, New York (1967)

I don't remember this New Year's Day picture at a Fort Lauderdale beach, as I was still an infant. But as you can see, the cat was clearly already out of the bag!


It would remain out of the bag til this very day, and there wasn't a thing I or anyone else could do about it. I think my mom's expression show's a bit of shock, while my grandma is full of GLEE! My dad, as usual, was in his own world.

I was very different right from the get go. I was the toe-headed blond, while my sister and brother (8 and 10 years older than me) were both darker and brunettes.

As the story is told, my mother asked my sister and brother: "Do you want a baby or a puppy?" "Puppy!!!" they both exclaimed. "Too late," my mother replied.
And the rest was history...

Later in life, I would go on to create videos with fabulous divas like Madonna, Cher, Ann-Margret, and The Go-Go's. And now they call me "Dan-O-Rama."
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - My First Gay Crush Blog"

June 01, 2012

Jonathan

Jonathan, age 4
Queens, New York (1963)

This is me (on the right) with my best friend David, taken outside our apartment building on Hillside Avenue in Queens, NY. I love the fact that we are holding hands and we seem to be deliriously happy!


There was a little girl in our building who liked to beat us up if we were solo,
so David and I were usually joined at the hip.

I didn't realize that I was more attracted to boys than girls until around age 8,
and I didn't act on it until I was age 12 (with my best friend Ira).

But as I look at this picture now, I see a very happy and gay young man!
__________________________________________________

"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

April 06, 2012

Kerry

Kerry, age 5
Buffalo, New York (1954)

I loved getting dressed up as a kid, and meeting the Easter Bunny was the perfect opportunity. My older brother always squirmed when our mom dressed us like this, but I really looked forward to it.

I always felt different from the other boys.

While they seemed to get all excited about baseball or football (and anything having to do with balls), I would rather sing and dance and play with the girls. This was strongly discouraged by my parents, but I knew what I liked.

I was about age 10 when I realized I was attracted to boys. My first crush was a boy on my football team. To get his attention I would offer to carry his jacket, helmet, or anything of his to show my interest.

He thought I was strange, as did my brother. And that made me feel really sad.

As time went on with more crushes, it became difficult to feel good about myself.

Playing sports became an exercise in hiding my affections. It wasn't much fun, but my dad insisted I play all the time. He was the first bully in my life.

Being a good Catholic boy and going to religious schools only reinforced the feeling that I was unacceptable. Not only in my family's eyes, but even in God's eyes. I never came out until I was age 47, and married with one child. I regret that I waited so long to come out, but today I'm happy I can be myself now.

I now know that I was born this way, and I celebrate this whenever I can.

I'm concerned about today's gay youth and the bullying they may endure.
It does get better, but we need to give them much support along the way.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


August 30, 2011

Steve

Steve, age 3
Waterford, Maine (1969)

I'm sitting here at our campsite on Papoose Pond, wearing my Indian headband with the pink feather in front like a showgirl. Toes gleefully pointed. Smiling.
It's possible this photo was taken at the very moment Judy Garland died.


I was always dressed in red, my towheaded older brother in blue. Later that got switched. Maybe my mother thought I'd attract less attention in blue.

I was a good student with plenty of friends, until my town merged with another in junior high. Kids I hadn't grown up with tormented me. The dreaded F word. Some old friends jumped ship and unfriended me. I tried fitting in for about a minute, but this was classic rock country, and I liked Blondie and The B-52's.

I told my girlfriend I was gay. She told me she was a lesbian. Other friends I told were cool with it. In high school the artsy upperclassmen protected me, and the worst was over by about 16. I didn't come out to my parents until after college. Mom wasn't surprised, but Dad laughed and said he never would've known.

When I moved to Hollywood there were gay people everywhere. I became a noted drag performer (the original Sharon Needles) and made fabulous friends. I wore red unless I'd bleached my hair, in which case I'd wear blue.

And I loved my big gay demimonde.

After I moved back east to be near my dying father, there were some unhappy years. The bar and the after party are the wrong place to grieve. Happily,
I bounced back, and I'm grateful for my life today.

Being gay doesn't define me. I'm much more than just that.
But looking at this picture now, I absolutely love it. That's the real me.

And I want to keep that kid smiling, and maybe give him another feather.

Steve's first, famous person same-sex crush:
Ralph Carter (Michael on "Good Times")
_____________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

August 10, 2011

Thom

Thom, age 10
Orlando, Florida (1973)

This is my sister and I shot at Disney World. I find the hat I'm wearing to be a
big revel of my true self. This is how I was born, and I am free and happy!

I grew up in Ft. Lauderdale, FL
and I recall being a mascot for my father's football team. And I remember my mom seeing me cheerleading in my football gear with all the cheerleaders.

I'm also not the only gay member of my family. A much younger relative just came out, and he praised me for being myself, and helping to make his experience hopeful and easier.

Today, I'm 48 and happy and living in New York City.

I'm surrounded by my siblings and their children, and I feel very loved.
__________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin'

June 19, 2011

Gordon

Gordon, age 5
Caneadea, New York (1959)

Looking at this photo, I have more questions than answers. Who is that man? He looks exactly like my father. And, he looks like a loving dad spending quality time with my sister and me. But, I certainly don't remember him ever doing anything like that. Notice the grumpy look on my face, testifying to the fact that I was coerced into posing for this, when all I wanted to do was to get away.


My mother abandoned us when I was about 10-years old. My father was a spoiled only child who, as an adult, was never around kids until he married late in life, and then we came along. He was never mean or strict, but he was never close or affectionate, either. And he never taught me anything.

But, I can't blame him. He simply didn't know what to do with kids.

Did he know that I was gay? Probably.
But he never said anything, and I never felt the need to say anything myself.

I went to a very small school where I don't remember ever hearing the word, "gay." So, I can look back and be thankful that I was never bullied. In class,
I always sat among the girls, where I felt like I fit in.

I wasn't interested in anything that the boys were talking about.
Not surprisingly, I was terrible at sports and hated gym class.

It's hard to say when it was that I first knew that I was gay. I can remember,
as a young teenager, my attraction to an underwear model whose picture I saw in a catalog. But, I didn't know that my feelings meant anything unusual.

Gordon's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Richard Egan (in "A Summer Place")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin'

Eduardo

Eduardo, age 5
Queens, NY (1995)

My childhood was a humble one. I lived in a one-bedroom apartment with my mom, dad, and sister. My elementary school was about 5 blocks from home, and that's where this picture was taken. I can't find the uncropped photo, but my sister's stroller is what I'm leaning on for this diva pose.

I chose this pic because, in addition to the pose, it was around this age I noticed how "different" I was.

In the 3rd grade, I was some sort of Hawaiian character in our class play. I, of course, put on my outfit (complete with a grass skirt) and decided to swing my hips for my parents. You know, just like the women on TV.

Their reaction? My dad said "girls dance like that" while my mom just laughed it off.

I would always play with girls on the playground, while I tried to become "best friends" with the cutest guy in my grade.

At this age, I was obsessed with the Power Rangers, specifically the Red one. When he left the series,
I was devastated and never watched the show again.


Looking at this picture is refreshing. I've grown a lot and I've had my fair share of experiences – some of them bad. Bad enough to make me wonder if I've lost a bit of who I used to be.

But this photo also reassures me that I am the same person today that I was when I was 5: All smiles, carefree, excited, and with a bit of 'tude.

Also now, I'm a part of BornLikeThis.org, which is a safe space created for youth, by youth. We exist for those who, like ourselves, openly identify as members of the LGBTQ community, and who realize they were born like this, too – whatever their personal "this" might be.

My advice to others is to be yourself.
And to know that there will always be someone there for you.

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

June 14, 2011

Steven

Steven, age 4
Carlsbad, California (1969)

I was born in Oklahoma. My mom was 2nd generation Sicilian and my dad was from Missouri. My sister remembers this as her baton-twirling costume. I don't remember wearing it, but I'm sure my mom thought it was harmless and funny.

I remember as early as this age, that
I loved feminine things, art, and playing "doctor" with my cute neighbors. I guess I was very curious and cute myself, because I remember older boys flirting with me.

I was in chorus and the band, like many of us back then. But I also remember being the only boy to choose
"disco class" over football in Jr. High.

And, my mother said my father "always knew."

As a young teen, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" played at the local theater. I went done up as Frank N. Furter and dethroned the person playing him. I realized that if I was performing, I was more powerful.
I was always misstaken for older, because my makeup was so fabulous.

Then the 80's arrived, and I soon discovered Hollywood and other out-of-the-closet gay teens. The Odyssey club in West Hollywood was an under-18 disco,
and I had my first gay kiss there. My look was compared to Marc Almond from
Soft Cell. We all loved Boy George and the freedom to cross gender barriers.
 
In 1985 I moved to New York City and quickly became part of the night life.
Drag culture had taken over Manhattan night clubs, so I added tits to my new romantic looks, and eventually morphed into a drag queen.

Within a year, I was hired by Patricia Field as a stylist. I also won a drag contest at The Boy Bar club, as Miss Perfidia 1986. I lived with established drag performers who trained me well, and I took my show all over the world .

My crowning achievement as a drag performer is seen in "Wigstock: The Movie," which really showcased NYC as it was back then. My Perfidia's Wig World shop is featured in the movie, as well as my performance.

My interest and talent with wigs eventually lead to Broadway. My designs were seen in "The Pee Wee Herman" show on Broadway for HBO and I was also responsible for the wigs seen in the cult TV classic, "Strangers With Candy."

Most currently, I am styling for "Hedwig On Broadway."

Good times!
xo Steven / Miss Perfidia
___________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


May 03, 2011

John

John, age 12
Nanuet, NY (1976)

I was, by nature, a smiley, giggly, and cheerful kid. And uncoordinated, though I loved to swim, bodysurf, skateboard, and gymnastics. Only 20 years later did I realize I had "killer abs" under the baggy t-shirt 'n jeans I wore from grades 6 through 10. Before that, I refused to wear jeans. Slacks from Sears only, please!


I was a total nerd in the math league, academic league, and national honor society. And, I was on track to be the first of my immediate family to attend college. However, homophobia nearly derailed all of it.

Around this age I gave up being me, because whatever that was, it was perceived as HORRIBLE. So I learned to butch it up. With sports not an option, partying was the next best thing. And by the end of high school, this nerd-boy was close to not graduating. And I flamed out in my freshmen semester of college.

I soon accepted that having sex with guys wasn't a stop-gap measure until I got married. Which I planned to do, to a nice girl whom I would never pressure sexually. My mantra in grade 12 was "In college you can be yourself."

Except I couldn't. The names were different, but the jocks and knuckleheads from high school were now my neighbors in the dorm. And, I unraveled.

But I pulled it together and transferred to a school farther away from home, beginning to tip toe out of the closet. By the time I graduated, I was sort of out. Within 6 months, the family all knew. And while it took a lot of years, eventually everyone got there in terms of celebration. Screw tolerance or acceptance, thanks.

What I've got now that's really important, is I got ME back. With dignity, and with integrity. Everything's possible once you get 'em, and it's impossible to live without them once you've had 'em.

To my younger gay brothers and sisters, my only advice is:
Education, education, education! College or a trade/vocational school will lead to your financial independence. I killed myself in college working 3 jobs, because I believed my parents would disown me if they found out I was gay. But that work ethic has served me well throughout my life.

Today, I'm still a nerd working at a university, and I have a hot husband and a nice home. And I'm out everywhere to everyone.

John's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Tom Selleck
Or any photo of a man with a beard, moustache, or stubble...
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TOM SELLECK 24X36 COLOR POSTER PRINTThe Advocate College Guide for LGBT StudentsThe Secret Lives of Married Men: Interviews With Gay Men Who Played It StraightStraight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding True Love

Adam

Adam, age 8
Brockport, NY (1992)

I found this pic in a collage my mom created. It's my sister, brother and me feeding ducks by a pond. I'm obviously the fabulous one with my knee popped, wrist broken backwards, and hand on my hips! All very "You go girl!" right?

I figured out I was gay around the age of 15.

I discovered when watching late night Skinomax, I was more interested in looking at the guys instead of the girls.

I've since looked back, pondering why I had such a strong interest in Shredder from the "Ninja Turtles." Mask + leather + gear = HOT!

I came out to my parents at 16, and remember the night in great detail. I decided early during the day that tonight was the night.


I was all nervous and couldn't sit still as we were watching the great TV lineup of "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "Antiques Road Show."

My dad was like, "What's up with you tonight?" I couldn't find the courage to say the words "I'm gay" and just said "I have to tell you something but I can't say it."

Without skipping a beat, my father says "You're gay?" I said "Yep." He then said, "We've known for a while, but wondered when you would figure it out."

So when I saw this picture again, I understood their reaction when I came out.
Today, I still have this fabulous flair - and I'm glad I was born this way!

April 13, 2011

Darryl

Darryl, age 5
Niagara Falls, New York (1991)

The person I am today, is the same person I've been my entire life. I've always had the same enthusiasm and energy for life since the beginning.

I was best friends with all of the girls, and I did all the things they did, like playing with Barbies.

I mean, Barbie is iconic! Hello!

I knew it wasn't the norm, but my parents always accepted it. I knew
I had their blessing, no matter what I chose to do with my free time.

I definitely got teased a lot. And while it sounds cliche', it DOES make you stronger. It really does.

I came out at 15-years old, and I'm now approaching my 10-year anniversary of being an out and proud homosexual male.

I can't believe it's been a decade!


I think the thing that gives me the greatest joy in my life, is that I am able to be 100% who I want to be. But also with the complete support and love of my family and friends. What more can one ask for?

I wish the same for anyone and everyone who has been in the same shoes as me. So just be yourself, as there's no one else quite like you! And embrace it!
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

April 06, 2011

Grant

Grant, age 4
Bay Area, California (1969)

In 1968, I was "The Flying Nun" for Halloween, as I was obsessed with her TV show. Everyone had a big laugh over the boy in a dress! But being so young,
I really didn't understand what all the fuss was about.


I kept wearing my magical dress for playtime, all the way through here, in the summer of '69. I started to sense that I was different from anyone I knew.

By the time I was 12, it dawned on me that I was gay. And I felt that if anyone found out about my attraction to boys, I would be utterly destroyed. I desperately did whatever it took to seem straight, like dating girls and playing football, etc.

By the time I was 25, I was like a dam with a thousand cracks in it, and I finally came out to my friends and family. They were all totally supportive, but it was tough for my parents at first. 

They came around though, and my dad ended up happily walking me down the aisle when I got married to my man, 4 years ago.

Today, I couldn't be happier with my amazing husband (we've been together for 7 years), our 2 dogs, and my job as an illustrator in New York.

If you feel alienated, or having trouble accepting who you are - hang in there! There is no "normal," and what you're trying to hide or suppress now, will soon become one of your greatest gifts. And a source of strength.

Just like that little boy in the nun dress, be true to yourself.
And you will learn to fly, too!

Grant's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Glen Campbell (singer)
___________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


April 05, 2011

Rick

Rick, age 6
Albany, NY (1974)

This photo was taken circa 1974, and as you can see, I had a "thing" for cleaning. Perhaps it was the pink vacuum cleaner? Perhaps it was the cute striped pants I was sporting? Either way, I seemed quite comfortable tackling the floors in the apartment my parents rented from my grandparents.


I knew I was different very young. But, it wasn't until my sister's Bat Mitzvah (when I fell head over heels in love with the DJ), that I knew I was gay. It was while hearing Steve Winwood's "If You See a Chance" that I knew I liked men.

I think I liked all the cultural things that most gay kids in the 70's did. I had a thing for the Bionic Woman, Wonder Woman, and begged my mom to let me watch "Charlie's Angels." I distinctly remember a Madonna "cassette" while vacationing at Lake George in '83. Madonna was my savior as an awkward teen.

Through grade school till high school without a steady girlfriend, in my senior year of college, I had a date with a girl named Wendy. And it all made sense.
We worked together, and Wendy was hell bent on getting me back to her dorm.

Once in her dorm, she played her VHS of "The Seventh Sign" and started making out with me. And, it happened. I politely excused myself, ran outside of the dorm, found a quiet corner, and hurled. Hurled away all of my thoughts that I could EVER be straight! It was truly, a turning point.

The next day, I sat my mom down and told her I had something important to tell her. I was 22, and I came out. It was a beautiful experience. Her response was,
"I knew, but wanted you to tell me, so you could be truthful to yourself. And I love you." I'm incredibly lucky in that the rest of my family felt the same way.

After a brief period of time as a teen when I never cleaned my room, I've now graduated to vacuuming with a Dyson, which is used frequently.
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March 23, 2011

Felix

Felix, age 5
Upstate, New York (1960)

This is a picture of me and Skeezix, my first dog.

I don't remember having any celebrity crushes at any time. Joan of Arc isn't exactly a celebrity?

But I'd say I had some role models: JFK, James Dean, Superman, Huck Finn, Robinson Crusoe, and Maynard G. Krebs.

I wish we had Rachel Maddow back then.

I had an instinctive dislike for Chuck Connors. I'd beg to stay up late, just to catch his humiliating toss from the Fort. His sword broken, buttons torn off and spat on.


I was quite sure I was different by the time I was 7 or 8, when the "birds and bees" story circulated the playground.

My first reaction was to suggest to my "best friend" a position I replicated with my hands. I made a peace sign with both hands, and connected each hand between the two fingers, aka a scissor sister.

And I said, "Well, couldn't we just.....?"
Her reaction made it quite clear, "No. We can not"

Later in life, I was lucky enough to come of age in the San Francisco area in the early 1970's. Now, I've found a role model called "Hothead Paisan" in a great comic book by Diane DiMassa. Wanna know what an angry dyke thinks like?

Thanks for this blog. I hope it gives some people faith to just be who they are.
And to fight for feminism. Remember, your gender is NOT determined by your sex.

Now go get out, and save the world.

PS:
Please describe me as a "gay woman" (though I am a lezzy). We are being written out of the word GAY, in the name of inclusiveness! We say "gay and lesbian" - as if a lesbian is not gay. Dogs aren't cats, right? Please think of this in terms of how the debate is framed. And thank you, again.
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Complete Hothead Paisan: Homicidal Lesbian Terrorist Intersections Between Feminist and Queer Theory: Sexualities, Cultures and Identities Feminism Meets Queer Theory (Books from differences) Scissor Sisters: We Are Scissor Sisters... and So Are You